Now that WandaVision is over, we all can take stock of what we have all seen and digested for the last 9 weeks. And yes, this will contain ALL the spoilers. You have been warned.
Despite what anyone may have said about the show, let’s be honest. The first 4 episodes sucked, and sucked BAD. Boring, repetitive, non-sensical and repetitive. As revealed in episode 8, Wanda uses old sitcoms like Linus uses his blanket. But did we really need 4 episodes of this crap? I think not. But fine. A cute troupe that went too far. But I’m not here to write about how wether or not the “sitcom based fake reality” played out. I’m here to call out the writers for purposefully trolling the REAL fans, and how the real fans are now making apologies for them. FUCK THEM.
I’ve been reading and collecting comics from the 70’s, which not only makes me really old, but also makes me a “fan-boy”, or perhaps a “fan-person.”
And as a fan-person, I know all about Vision, The Scarlett Witch and Agatha Harkness. I remember reading The House of M storyline as it cam out on the stands, and I also know that Marvel retroactively took away Wanda’s mutant status and just made her a witch. I know that this probably makes me one of about 5% of the people with such knowledge that watched WandaVision, which is why I am writing this piece, to let you know how the writers of this show decided to purposely troll me and my fellow 5%-ers.
Before going any further, let me give you a bit of a refresher course on how myself, and people of my ilk, were treated not that long ago. You may have thought that Luke in the 70’s and Ewoks in the 80s made it safe for my kind, and to be accepted. My kind being, of course, comic book geeks. Yet this was not the case. In 1987 I was still forced to break away from my fellow high schoolers and drive to the comic shop alone. It was dank and dingy, every person there only there by themselves, not talking to anyone else. Get in and get out and not be seen! Spending money on comic books? LUNACY! They were made for CHILDREN! Imagine my dismay that mere 34 years later, the most talked about show on TV would be a comic book show. Not to mention the last 15 years of comic book movie success. And please… Unless you were at the midnight screening of Iron Man in 2008 starring (of all people) a washed up Robert Downey JR., then you are not even close to being a fan. And if you haven’t been reading comics for at least 20 years, you are not a fan-person.
Maybe you’ve watched The Bachelor since its first season. Maybe you know everything about Corvettes. Maybe you have a collection of Barbie’s, or collect Hot Wheels. Now imagine doing that for 30 years, and all during that time it was frowned upon; then all of the sudden… EVERYONE LOVES IT!. On the one hand, it’s great, because you get all this awesome TV shows and movies, but on the other hand, you are pissed, because it took this long for everyone to see what they have been missing! (And you fuck tards still go to the movies and watch the shows, but you won’t read the comics? WTF?)
So now that we have that established, maybe you can try to understand why I am so upset with the writers of this TV show. You see, they can drop hints high and low, and most people wound up not getting these hints, but for the fan-people out there, we went NUTS. Message boards, Reddit, Youtube videos. Diving deeper and deeper into the lore and comic history of it all. What can it mean?
It turns out… Absolutely Fucking Nothing.
So let’s break down the red herrings and the disappointments.
1. Reed Richards
“Theories started to fly after Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris) mentioned an aerospace engineer colleague in episode 5 of WandaVision. Viewers questioned whether the engineer could be the MCU’s version of Reed Richards and set about trying to figure out if he’d appear. Sadly for those audience members, the engineer turned out to be Major Goodner, a character who doesn’t come from the established universe or the comics.”
This was obviously the writes trolling the fans. To the casual viewer, Monica mentioning a aerospace engineer friend would have been a throw away line. BUT TO US FANS… this was obviously going to be Reed Richards. We KNOW that The Fantastic Four is coming to the MCU. Jennifer Lawrence recently flew to Australia, causing rumors to fly that she may be in talks to be The Invisible Woman (since debunked), but with all this FF news flying around, a Reed Richards/John Krasinski cameo was bound to happen! Right?
Wrong. Major Goodner? Who the fuck is that? NOBODY. Not even anyone from the comics. WTF?
2. The casting of Evan Peters.
Show runners have stated that the knew they wanted to recast Wanda’s brother from the MCU. So who do they cast? The actor who played the SAME character of Quicksilver NOT in the MCU, but in Sony’s X-Men, Even Peters. What could this mean?
To us fan-people, this would obviously be a way to introduce MUTANTS into the MCU. You see we KNOW that MARVEL movies could not mention the term “mutants” for years. But since the merge, Disney/Marvel now have the rights of the X-Men and Mutants back, so this would be the perfect time to introduce mutants to the MCU. A little “reverse” House of M? Instead of “no more mutants” perhaps “let there be mutants”? Or maybe this is setting up Doctor Strange 2, Multiverse of Madness. A multiverse where Quicksilver’s Evan Peters is a mutant, brought into our universe!
Nope. Turns out he’s just some out of work actor. Then why cast Evan Peters? I’ll tell you why. TO FUCK WITH THE FAN-PEOPLE. FUCK YOU WRITERS.
3. Agatha Harkness as the Big Bad
Agatha Harkness is a very familiar face to us fans. A very OLD face. Agatha in the comics is what you would call “Chaotic Neutral” in D&D circles. Not good or bad, but very chaotic. She becomes a mentor of sort to Wanda, but with her own reasons for doing so. Not exactly a footnote in the life of The Scarlett Witch, but not the “big bad” either. When I say “big bad” I mean to say that they are at the top. The Big Bad can be the person behind the curtain. The one pulling all the strings. Powerful, but not as smart or powerful to pull off the grand scheme of things. And let’s face it, Agatha doesn’t seem as big or as powerful to pull off what she did in this series.
4. The Big Reveal/Cameo… that never happened.
I won’t get deep into Mephisto, but he’s the reason why Peter Parker never remembered marrying MJ, and why no one remembers Peter revealing his secret to the world in Civil War. Confused? Yeah, that’s because YOU ARE NOT A FAN!
But you know who knows I am a fan? The fucking writers.
Wanda has twins which were made from Mephisto’s help, and eventually taken away from Wanda. Yes, just like the show. But where is Mephisto is the show? NO WHERE.
This might be due to a lot of different reasons, starting with the fact that if Mephisto DID show up, the show would be banned in China. Chinese law prohibits the depiction of the Devil, or Satan, or whatever. And in case you didn’t know, a shitload of revenue for these shows and movies comes from China, so Mephisto is a no-go.
Give me something! No Reed Richards cameo. No Doctor Strange cameo. Hell, I would have taken a Nightmare cameo, even if he’s a D-List villain. Wonder-Man? Any of the West Coast Avengers? (Yes, that’s a thing.)
But no. NOTHING. FUCK YOU WRITERS.
5. Paul Bettany TROLLING the fans. Dick.
On the podcast “Lights, Action. Barstool” (which I do listen to) Paul Bettany said this in an interview:
“I work with this actor that I have always wanted to work with and we have fireworks together and the scenes are great, and I think people will be really excited.”
Who was this actor? Al Pacino as Mephisto? James Spader back as Ultron? Patrick Stewart back as Professor X?
Nope. He meant HIMSELF. Acting with HIMSELF. So funny Paul. DICK.
Paul Bettany has since claimed it was “a joke that got out of control.” Really? I CALL BULLSHIT. Marvel knows exactly what their actors and actresses can and cannot say. They were fully onboard with this “joke”.
Now you may be saying to yourself… “I’ve never heard of that podcast.”
NO SHIT. That’s the POINT! Only true news like myself would listen to a two hour podcast like that one multiple times a week! I’m the GEEK! I’M THE FAN BOY! THEY TROLLED ME SPECIFICALLY! I WAS TARGETED!
6. Kevin Feige says you don’t have to watch WandaVision going into Doctor Strange 2.
“We try to make the stories unfold in a way that if you are following along and have seen what has preceded it, you’ll be right up to speed. And more importantly, if you haven’t, you’ll be up to speed.”
Meaning WandaVision is a throw-away. Is it a good series about grief and loss? Yes. Does it explore more deeply the character of Wanda and how she is The Scarlett Witch? Yup.
DOES IT CONTRIBUTE TO THE MCU IN ANY MEANINGFUL WAY? FUCK NO.
And that is the greatest sin of this series. Not that it is not a great side tale about a character or characters that you may or may not care about. Not that this series may or may not have resonated with you, especially during a pandemic where you may have expired loss or grief. The SIN is that the show runners could not just keep it as THAT. They felt the NEED to tease something that was not there.
A Charlie Brown Christmas is about the spirit of Christmas, not about teasing that Charlie and the gang are all going to get PS5’s, then at the end revealing that “whoops” no one gets any presents, but that’s the point.
The writers and show runners USED the fan-base to prop up a show that ultimately means nothing to the MCU. But why should that matter? Not EVERY MARVEL story needs to tie directly into the MCU. Writers and show runners should feel free to develop a series that is a stand-alone. And that is what they DID. And it was a fine, dare I say a GOOD series. What I don’t appreciate is using the fandom to hype a series that over promises and under delivers.
As a fan, I understand the knee-jerk reaction to praise everything Marvel. But I am not going to blindly call this series as success. You trolled me and used me, and I won’t soon get that bad taste out of my mouth.