From 20th Century Studios, The Walt Disney Company will release “West Side Story” in U.S. theaters on December 10, 2021.
It’s amazing how Spielberg has shot this to make it have a “classic” look, instead of, I dunno, a modern look? Or perhaps a “re-imagining” in a fucking CURRENT TIME? I think there is a missed opportunity here. It could have been all those POC supporters of AOC verses the white Trump supporters. And to make it REALLY obvious, just rename the SHARKS vs the JETS to the BROWNS vs the JETS. (You thought I was gonna say “whites” didn’t you… you PIG.)
“Ron’s Gone Wrong” is the story of Barney, a socially awkward middle-schooler and Ron, his new walking, talking, digitally-connected device, which is supposed to be his “Best Friend out of the Box.” Ron’s hilarious malfunctions set against the backdrop of the social media age, launch them into an action-packed journey in which boy and robot come to terms with the wonderful messiness of true friendship.
I thought the boy was Ron, and he’s gone wrong so his parents send him to Conversion Therapy.
In acclaimed director Edgar Wright’s psychological thriller, Eloise, an aspiring fashion designer, is mysteriously able to enter the 1960s where she encounters a dazzling wannabe singer, Sandie. But the glamour is not all it appears to be and the dreams of the past start to crack and splinter into something far darker.
I’ll bet it was nothing like my Last Night in Bangkok.
In Moonfall, a mysterious force knocks the Moon from its orbit around Earth and sends it hurtling on a collision course with life as we know it. With mere weeks before impact and the world on the brink of annihilation, NASA executive and former astronaut Jo Fowler (Academy Award® winner Halle Berry) is convinced she has the key to saving us all — but only one astronaut from her past, Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson, “Midway”) and a conspiracy theorist K.C. Houseman (John Bradley, “Game of Thrones”) believe her. These unlikely heroes will mount an impossible last-ditch mission into space, leaving behind everyone they love, only to find out that our Moon is not what we think it is.
Look for this in your local Walmart bin in 6 months.
In No Time To Die, Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica. His peace is short-lived when his old friend Felix Leiter from the CIA turns up asking for help. The mission to rescue a kidnapped scientist turns out to be far more treacherous than expected, leading Bond onto the trail of a mysterious villain armed with dangerous new technology.
Here’s the problem with delaying movies due to Covid. I DON’T CARE ANYMORE! Release it on demand! I won’t be going back to the theaters ANYTIME SOON! Read my lips: “I DON’T CARE.”
The marriage of Princess Diana and Prince Charles has long since grown cold. Though rumors of affairs and a divorce abound, peace is ordained for the Christmas festivities at the Queen’s Sandringham Estate. There’s eating and drinking, shooting and hunting. Diana knows the game. But this year, things will be
profoundly different. SPENCER is an imagining of what might have happened during those few fateful days.
Kristin Stewart is like a saltine cracker. White, plain and usually stale. Can she nail the accent? Who the fuck knows when she has ONE LINE in the trailer???!!!
The Kurt Warner Story
– Zachary Levi
– Anna Paquin
– Dennis Quaid
– Bruce McGill
The problem with this story is that it is incredibly CHRISTIAN, and I have a feeling this movie will be incredibly CHRISTIAN. I’m surprised Kurt Cameron is not involved in this.
US Release Date: December 17, 2021
Starring: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Jamie Foxx, Benedict Cumberbatch, Alfred Molina
Directed By: Jon Watts
Synopsis: The next installment in the “Spider-Man” franchise.
For those not familiar with the comics, having everyone on everyone on the planet forget that Peter Parker is Spider-Man happened after the events of Civil War. Tony Stark convinced Peter to reveal his identity because he was for the Hero Registration Act. Except in the comics, it was a deal with Mephisto, not Doctor Strange, and it had nothing to do with the multiverse.
US Release Date: November 5, 2021
Starring: Angelina Jolie, Salma Hayek, Gemma Chan, Kit Harington
Directed By: Chloé Zhao
Synopsis: The Eternals, a race of immortal beings with superhuman powers who have secretly lived on Earth for thousands of years, reunite to battle the evil Deviants.
Wait… THIS is a MARVEL movie? Looks about as dull as a rice cake for dinner. Yawn. Women directors, am I right?
House of Gucci is inspired by the shocking true story of the family empire behind the Italian fashion house of Gucci. Spanning three decades of love, betrayal, decadence, revenge, and ultimately murder, we see what a name means, what it’s worth, and how far a family will go for control.
House of Gucci… Otherwise known as House of Big Noses. Awww… tell me I’m not telling the truth. Two of the most EPIC NOSES in show business!